How to Swing

Uta says...

"Jen is funny and silly and active. She has a lot of energy and knows how to have fun with a nephew. She can make really good turkey sounds too. I love her because she is my Aunt. I love her more than ice cream."



Happy Birthday Auntie Jen! Sorry we missed your party. We love you.

Family

Never, in my memory, has it been possible for my whole family to enjoy the simple gesture of gathering around a table to share a meal. My family is full of fractures and divides that seem to only deepen and harden with the passing of time. I have always envied big families that enjoy each other's company, but for us it isn't so straightforward. Our definition of family has had to stretch and expand to embrace the broken bits, the silences, and in ways we are all stronger for it, wiser perhaps. But holidays are hurdles for a family like mine, and in the past I have begrudged them, dressing the part but feeling it to be a farce.

And then comes Uta. And along with him a second chance at the family I have always craved. We may not have the numbers, but we have the love, buckets and buckets. So we begin again. And our definition of family shifts, relaxes and softens to mean simply those with whom we share love. And starting from this point the holidays become easy and joyful, a real cause for celebration.

This thanksgiving we were invited to dinner at a friends house. Three families gathered together to enjoy a meal. Everyone contributed something. Uta and I made a cranberry orange cheesecake and an arugula salad topped with roasted pecans and pomegranate seeds. Our host cooked a very impressive spread of delicious things, too numerous to recount. Uta played his heart out with the other kids. He even put on several performances; including the infamous Robot dance, a blue hearts song, and a poetry recital. The adults all laughed to the point of tears. A very happy thanksgiving indeed.

Happy Thanksgiving

Uta is thankful for everyone he knows, the whole universe (including California), toys, and the ninja turkey that he drew at school.

Willa at Sundance

Our dear friend Cory (Willa's Dad) just got his new film into Sundance. We are especially excited because Willa is in it. Check out the trailer to see a sneak peak of her acting debut.

www.stingraysam.com

Left in the dark

Conversations with Uta these days are more like investigations. Out of the blue he'll say something like what he said tonight. 'Adriana told on me today.' And before I can inquire further, even utter a simple 'why', the door on the topic is slammed shut. No matter how I phrase my questions, to everything he replies, 'I don't know'. Immediately I'm desperate to squeeze the whole story out of him. I ask point blank, but he says, I don't know. I shimmy and side step, he answers, I don't know. I sweet talk and plead, threaten and bribe, but to everything he says, I don't know. Without a doubt whatever transpired between Uta and Adriana was next to nothing, but being left in the dark, pondering this inane fragment from his day, in unbearable. I cling to his words like a life line, my last link to this little stranger called my son. And hasn't the 'not knowing' only just begun? If I'm already exhibiting this level of crazy dealing with the secret life of a first grader how will I ever survive being the mother of a teenager?

Too cold!

Uta took about three steps out of bed this morning before turning back and diving deep beneath the covers. Its too cold for school, he said. I was able to tempt him back out with the promise of a cozy blanket and hot tea waiting at his seat. Winter is here. The warmth of bed is suddenly so precious and too fleeting. My hands are always cold and Uta squeals in agony when I help him into his clothes. Bracing for the coming months feels like an impossible feat.

Bad Words

(Uta's latest line of questioning.)

Is 'maniac' a bad word?
What about 'hell'?
What about that word that high school students say on the train?
Can you get arrested for saying it?
Is 'freakoid' a mean thing to say?
Can I say 'stupid' if I'm really really really mad?

Picture Day

Uh oh...

This drawing came home in Uta's school bag yesterday. It is from Uta's new friend Phoebe. The bottom is a little hard to read, it says "I love You. Love, Phoebe". She made it for him after she found out that he accepted her invitation for a play-date.

Uta had three invitations for play-dates this week, all from girls. It seems that there is a shortage of nice boys in Uta's school, well, this is what Phoebe told me. She said Uta is the only boy that isn't crazy. Uta agreed.

Election Day

Yesterday Uta's class visited the fifth grade to cast their vote. The fifth graders had made polling booths and ballots. Only three people in Uta's class voted for McCain, the rest were Obama 'supporters'. Today Uta is home enjoying a Saturday on a Tuesday, as he is fond of saying. He spent election day making spider webs from pipe cleaners (including a resident black widow) and two lego ships. He also made up a batch of Danny Dip to go along with his pretzels. (Danny dip is a childhood recipe courtesy of cousin Dan; equal parts mustard and mayo (preferably Kewpie) to taste.)

Halloween

First Uta wanted to be a bat. Then he changed his mind and wanted to be a lion. Soon after, he wanted to be a lion with tiger stripes and bat wings. But in the end (and the day before) he decided to be a ninja. Luckily we already had swords, souvenirs from our summer visit to the ninja village. But Uta doesn't have a stitch of black clothing. So off to the costume shop we went. It is not a good idea to visit a costume shop in NYC the day before halloween. There was a line two blocks long just to get in, and no ninja costumes left to be had. We had to settle for Darth Vader. At home we discarded the mask and cape, turned the suit inside out, and cut off the feet. I sacrificed my black tights for various ties, gloves and the mask. We added strips of red fabric for a little warrior-style pizazz, and voila! A ninja is born.