Family

Never, in my memory, has it been possible for my whole family to enjoy the simple gesture of gathering around a table to share a meal. My family is full of fractures and divides that seem to only deepen and harden with the passing of time. I have always envied big families that enjoy each other's company, but for us it isn't so straightforward. Our definition of family has had to stretch and expand to embrace the broken bits, the silences, and in ways we are all stronger for it, wiser perhaps. But holidays are hurdles for a family like mine, and in the past I have begrudged them, dressing the part but feeling it to be a farce.

And then comes Uta. And along with him a second chance at the family I have always craved. We may not have the numbers, but we have the love, buckets and buckets. So we begin again. And our definition of family shifts, relaxes and softens to mean simply those with whom we share love. And starting from this point the holidays become easy and joyful, a real cause for celebration.

This thanksgiving we were invited to dinner at a friends house. Three families gathered together to enjoy a meal. Everyone contributed something. Uta and I made a cranberry orange cheesecake and an arugula salad topped with roasted pecans and pomegranate seeds. Our host cooked a very impressive spread of delicious things, too numerous to recount. Uta played his heart out with the other kids. He even put on several performances; including the infamous Robot dance, a blue hearts song, and a poetry recital. The adults all laughed to the point of tears. A very happy thanksgiving indeed.