Agent Uta

(With custom made lego ear piece.)

House of cards

Finding a comfortable position for sleep is like balancing a house of cards. I stack my pillows to support my growing stomach, prop up cushions to ward off the persistant ache in my back, and fruitlessly position my body atop it all to stop the burning in my upper torso. More often than not my efforts collapse in a sleepless heap of pain. I have met woman who love being pregnant, who look fantastic, and who would willingly repeat this process again and again. Hats off to them. I am no such woman. I wish I were four inches taller and could cart this watermelon sized uterus about with a bit more grace. I am presently in full fledged waddle mode. Sitting, standing, and reclining are all equally troublesome. Ideally I would crawl into a cave and wait out the remainder of my pregnancy in complete isolation, only to reemerge a normal functioning person again, plus baby. Speaking of the baby, she's great. She kicks and shimmies and squirms through the night, making the book I have perched upon her back bounce clear off my belly. I can do nothing but laugh at myself and delight in the moment. Five more weeks to go.

Cabin Fever

Upstate

Shogi

This morning Uta woke up saying he felt homesick. But we are home. When I asked him what might make him feel better he said he wished Pop and I were both with him building something out of legos. A simple request. And yet I am ashamed at how impossible such a thing feels. Putting everything on hold to be fully present with Uta should be a pleasure, and yet rarely does it happen. There is almost always something else I am thinking of, something more pressing to get done. And yet all that I am busy doing adds up to nothing really in the end. Just an hour with Uta, connecting with him truly, on his terms and in accordance with his rhythms, would simply mean the world to him.

When it happens that we are all together, and thinking of nothing but each other, Uta's delight is contagious. Its easier away from home, minus all of our daily distractions. Visiting Grandma last week, Pop took the time to introduce Uta to Shogi, the Japanese version of chess. I do not have a mind for chess, from any country, but Uta took to it with a passion. I'm not sure if it was the game itself, or this special time with his Papa, but most likely it was a combination of the two.

Cousins!

I would not wish my childhood on Uta. By his age I had witnessed more fighting and division than one should have in a lifetime. I knew sadness so overflowing it made it hard to see, and cruelty between the ones I loved the most. Uta thinks a 'fight' is a heated debate about what color to paint the bathroom. He scolds me and Pop when we can't agree on the perfect shade of yellow. "Guys" he says, "stop fighting!" Fighting? If he only knew... But what my childhood had that his is truly missing is a big family. Growing up I had lots of cousins on both sides whom we saw often. I had lots of aunts and uncles and grandparents that felt close. Uta has us. He has special occasion visits with grandparents here, and semi-annual visits with family in Japan. Very rarely we manage to get together with all those cousins I grew up with. Recently we had one such rare visit. My mom's family all gathered together to celebrate the coming baby and Uta's important transition into big brotherhood. It was without a doubt one of the happiest days of Uta's life. He barely knows all those people, mostly my cousins and second cousins, and yet they loved and adored him from the get-go. In response Uta's confidence skyrocketed, instantly. Nobody there would probably believe me if I told them how shy he normally is. He marched around like king of the party. It is a side of him that rarely surfaces. I'm so grateful to my family for their kindness and encouragement. Uta is one lucky boy to be so loved by so many.

Lego Michael

Uta was quite saddend by the passing of Michael Jackson, still he is in some form of denial, opting to believe he has simply relocated to Mexico. The extent to which Uta has chosen to honor the legend is too great to post at this time, much more on the topic will follow. But for now, here is Uta's custom made lego Michael Jackson, styled after Uta's favorite music video, Smooth Criminal.

Carnival Loot

Papa H and Uta went to a street carnival the other day and a returned with quite a loot of prizes. Their winnings included one giant blow up alien, a mini stuffed hedgehog, some sort of yellow mutant sea creature vaguely resembling a dolphin, two golden swords, and three REAL goldfish in plastic bags. My reaction? Well there was quite a difference between what came out of my mouth and what I was really thinking. I think I said something like, Wow! But in my thoughts I was stringing together expletives. To most well adjusted folk, a heap of crappy toys and a few fish is not a big deal, a sort of necessary ingredient to a healthy childhood summer. I do agree. But I am not so well adjusted. And the idea of having three more living things to care for? Not now! But it was too late, for Uta it was true love and we could do nothing but provide them with the best. The first night the fish had to rough it a bit. They stayed in a big glass jar and ate nothing. The next morning Uta and I made a pilgrimage to Petco to find more suitable arrangements. The plastic castles and sunken battleships were of course top of Uta's list. I was able to convince him that we should stick with the bare necessities, which I found quickly added up to a lot more than their humble carnival beginnings. They are now happily settled in a real tank, and slowly getting used to the giant gawking face that practically lives pressed up against the glass. Don't ask me why, but Uta has named them Chuck, Potter, and Sylvia.

Down by the bay

Most likely Grandpa T will need to sleep for a week after our weekend invasion, but its a siesta well earned. He is a generous host. The three of us, as a result, are feeling rather refreshed by our seaside holiday. Nothing compares to the buoyancy of water when in the third trimester and hauling about extra weight equal to that of an adult sized bicycle (the old kind). Needless to say, being at the beach is the ultimate babysitter. When half naked and free to run wherever he pleases, Uta is a very happy boy.






This one's for Jiji...