November 16, 2009
108 days
There has been so much that I have wanted to write about recently, but so much that I just couldn't bear to put into words. Putting pen to paper instantly causes tears to well up in my eyes. Perhaps its a touch of the baby blues. I hope. But I suspect it goes a bit deeper than postpartum hormones. Sadness is no stranger to me. I'm afraid I have always puzzled over how to be happy. Papa H is one hundred percent certain that the only remedy needed is for me to begin drawing again. Accordingly he has prescribed 108 consecutive days in which I merely make a single mark, or more if I am inclined, just not less. I'm up for the challenge, a single mark I can handle, I hope, otherwise I have good cause indeed to be depressed. I am on day two.
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1 comment:
Tina, Probably in large part it's the season, the loss of sunshine. Maybe it's also that alone feeling a mother gets when she knows that she is giving up so many pieces of herself. (You know what I mean so I won't go into details.)Then the guilty feeling she has because she knows she is loving what she's doing but still sad.
I think Hiroshi has a great idea, and I'm happy that he kind of gets it, and wants you to have some feeling of control - at least for 108 days.
I won't try to talk you out of being sad, but I want you to not have to be lonely. So come to visit people who don't want anything out of you, or have people come to stay with you a little.
Yours,
Kathy
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