Do over

Yesterday I plum forgot to draw. I did my mark (and a little bit more) religiously for four days. And then somehow the whole commitment vanished from my brain. My day began too soon, after a sleepless night, with an explosive diaper and a bloody nose from my two children respectively. Then a mad dash to get Uta to school on time with Kizuki in tow. This means timing and hopefully spacing all of Kiki's bodily needs to avoid  a baby meltdown on the L train. Oh and then there are Uta's bodily needs, which somehow I manage to overlook more often than not these days, the sad price of being the oldest I guess. 

Once at school, Uta's class performed a poem of Thanksgiving for the whole school. Uta was stellar, in my motherly opinion, and I couldn't help but tear up like the complete (and proud) sap I have become. Kizuki, very respectfully, slept through the entire thing. But almost as soon as Uta had taken his bow, he was by my side in hysterics with another, very profuse, bloody nose. This is about how my day proceeded, with poop, blood, and tears, alternating and often times overlapping until I was so bleary eyed with exhaustion I could think of nothing but sleep. And didn't, until I woke up the next morning, and then remembered about the 108 days. Oops.

Pop said very nonchalantly, "Start again". Oh? I can do that? I thought I had to label my forehead with a big black Sharpie, FAILURE. I thought I had to beat myself up with disappointment for all of eternity. Simply start again, and again and again, if need be. No judgement?! No shame? This is revolutionary! Its not the 108 days that matter, its today. And although I didn't draw yesterday, I can always draw today. Today is all that matters. Today is day one.